The Loss of a Sister

One of the greatest things that my parents ever did for me is give me a sister when I was 21 months old. I do not have very many memories from my childhood that she isn't the main character...especially the ones that included us getting in trouble.

My family was one of those that to outsiders may have seemed perfect, but it was far from perfect as those families rarely are. But my sister was always there for me and we protected each other as much as possible, which was hard at time when it seems that it really is "everyman for himself."

I remember when we were 5 and 7 and we got into trouble and we knew that we were going to get whipped and Dawn thought it would help if we put on as many pairs of underwear as possible. It did not help very much but she tried to comfort me after by telling me that at least we had all those underwear to put on...

We would always sneak food to each other when we were sent to bed...which was not easy to do so we decided to hide Cheerios under my mattress so that we had something to eat...it was our secret.

We moved to Utah when I was in 3rd grade and Dawn was in 1st grade. We were so sad to have to leave the desert of California. We moved there in February when it was freezing cold. We went to different schools because Forbes Elementary was full so Dawn went to Shelly Elementary. I was so miserable, the children were incredibly mean and every day I would find comfort in knowing that Dawn would meet me at home and listen to how Allison Evans had gotten me in trouble or Todd Moody had put the biggest green booger in the history of green boogers in my hair. She would always make me feel better. The next year I transferred to Shelly and even though it was a mile away we walked to school every day together and we loved it! Some of our best times were walking to school togeather running on top of the cemetery wall.

When we were in 3rd and 5Th grade Dawn talked me into trying out for little league baseball- this was in 1975 and girls did not play with the boys. We were the only girls that tried out. My sister was an amazing athlete and she could play better than most of the boys. A minor league coach took pity on us and drafted us, I am sure that I was included only because I was her sister. I was made the team Princess and I was mortified. Being the Princess I had to raise money to win the queen...Dawn walked all over the town with me to ask for donations. She knew that I was embarrassed and scared and she supported me every step of the way and encouraged me.

Dawn was always my biggest cheerleader and I for her. Everyone loved her, I admired her carefree spirit and her laugh. She could make everything seem like an adventure and I would have followed her anywhere. We were very different, I always worried about obeying the rules and she did not, I always worried about what people thought of me and she did not. She was so smart and talented, what ever she tried she was great at it, cooking, baking, sewing, crafts, sports...she could do it all.

However amazing she was and we thought that she was she battled her own demons. She has been battling alcoholism for the last 20 years. It was very hard on us because we could not help her. We loved her and wanted the best for her but it is really hard to help someone that doesn't want help, and she didn't.

The last time that we were all together was 7 years ago when my mother passed. Funerals are not fun and my siblings and I have a terrible habit of laughing through stress and cracking very bad jokes...I have to say that although we gathered for a really awful event we had an amazing time together. We laughed until we cried and told stories and laughed some more.

This amazing person passed away last Tuesday and yesterday was her funeral.
As we sat in the church and listened to how amazing our sister was..which we already knew. I was struck by overwhelming grief. It is hard to bury a sibling...at a time that seems like life is just really beginning. So many things to look forward to and enjoy.

She passed suddenly of a heart problem that was a unknown condition. She was only 41...she left 6 of the most beautiful children that you have ever seen. It truly was one of the worst days in my life. I am really struggling with her death for many reasons, which I am sure that any of you that have lost a sibling can understand. It really is awful...that is the only word that I can describe it.

So I find comfort in family and friends and know that in time my heart will heal and I have a new responsiblity of making sure that her children have the love and support that they will need in these trying days and weeks ahead.

W-